Function: noun

Date: 1954

1 : personal psychosocial conflict especially in adolescence that involves confusion about one's social role and often a sense of loss of continuity to one's personality


I can't explain it, but i don't like it.  I'm at a place where i think i should be, but i can't honestly say that i'm happy i'm here.

A lot of people say that they're going to "work on themselves" for a while.  They never tell you that the path is a lonely one. 

I've tried serious relationships... gawd knows i've tried.  And they never seemed to work out for me.  I'm trying casual relationships, and i can't say its any better.  What's worse is that its making me re-evaluate where my life is heading.  Its quite a sobering thought, and sobriety is made of bitch.

I just don't get it.  I've quit smoking, i'm back in college and actually finishing it finally.  I've even had someone offer to get my resume passed on to the owner of a software company i'd like to work at.  I'm dating people.  I decided that i wanted all of this last year, and now that i've got it, i'm not any happier.

In fact, i can't remember being this... depressed?  Its not like this is some heartbreak, or love-lost, or betrayal.  This is worse, because its not something i've had experience dealing with.  And i'll be honest, i'm scared.  For the first time, in a very long time, i really dont' know who i am anymore...

Set me free, leave me be... I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity.
Gravity - Sara Bareilles